Thanks to a tip from the England team, the Aussies have identified the cause for their slow times. Sparked as a result from the direction inquiry by the English team, an independent expert has confirmed the Aussies were not using the equipment correctly. In what can only be explained as a major installation stuff-up, only half the rower was being used. The rear section, which contains the seat and seat slide were found still packed up in the store room. This explains several factors which had baffled the Australians to this point:

• the poor results
• the excessive soreness and subsequent bleeding to the left and right contact areas
• the expense claims for 1 pair of training shorts and sports jock per session
• the worn section of carpet in the lounge
• the strange burning smell
• the skid marks

Having now 'rectified' the problem, the Aussies are expecting faster times.